The Ingenious Plot of Every Fast and Furious Movie

The Ingenious Plot of Every Fast and Furious Movie

 

 

 Owning (or in many cases, stealing) fast cars is one thing, but it's not a 'Fast and Furious' movie until those speedy little devils are taken out on the streets for a good quality race.
Racing is the name of the game, especially in the early films, so settle in and get ready to watch seemingly endless footage of fancy, neon-colored, souped-up cars speeding around the streets of Los Angeles, or Miami, or Tokyo, or whatever other landscape the racers happen to be in at the time.

 
 Fast is never fast enough in 'The Fast and the Furious.' Soup that puppy up! Make it faster than a speeding bullet! Make it faster than Superman himself! And be quick about it, too. Just dump some NOS on it. Trust us; it'll be awesome.
 
Every 'Fast and Furious' film is strikingly similar, and nearly every one includes the same list of ingredients that form the so-called "plot." Really, though, it's less of a plot and more of a pile of stuff that is thrown together to give car lovers and action junkies their jollies.
Obviously, you already know what the first and most important ingredient is. 'Fast and Furious' movies are about one thing and one thing only: fast cars. That's what it all comes down to, and that's where the primary focus lies. Cars, cars, cars.
Click through to find out about the other parts of the 'Fast and Furious' "plot" puzzle!

 

Physics Defying Stunts

 

Think you can't drive a car up into the air and land on a speeding boat? Think again! If you can dream it, you can do it in the world of 'The Fast and the Furious.' Gravity barely even exists. The laws of physics? Forget about them! They're not important here
What kind of action movie that completely revolves around fast cars doesn't involve car chases? When the fast cars aren't being raced in 'Fast and Furious' movies, they're being used to chase other fast cars.
Why are the chases happening? Well, does it really matter? Any excuse will do. You get to watch extended car chases that are even longer than the street racing scenes. Count your blessings, pal.

 
 Hot chicks dancing. Hot chicks fixing cars. Hot chicks fighting. Hot chicks making out with each other. Just... hot chicks, you guys! Most of them don't have names --  or substance of any kind -- but they're always there, bumping and grinding and oiling up their perfect abs for the camera.

Hot Women's Body Parts 

 

Did we mention hot chicks? It also wouldn't be a 'Fast and Furious' movie without close-ups of female body parts. Who needs faces or personalities? Just give the fans what they really want: boobs and butt.
Plot? Who needs a plot?

 

Muscles 

 

You might think that semi-nude women would be enough, but you have to find a way to appeal to the straight women and gay men in the audience, too. Throw in some bulging muscles, and make sure to cover them in just as much oil as the hot women's abs!
Now you've got everyone's attention, and it's not focused on the fact that your movie has no substance. Well done!

 

Eff The Police

 

n the 'Fast and Furious' universe, the police are all corrupt, and besides, rules are made to be broken. So what if the characters' behavior is completely illegal and morally reprehensible? That's just good film, right there.

Cheer the bad guys on. You know you want to. Eff the police!

 

Heists

This is a 'Fast and Furious' movie, so the crew has to get involved in some sort of illegal/heisty/life of crime tomfoolery at some point. What better way to check off that box than to have them surround a semi with their brightly colored cars, leap from vehicle to vehicle, and get their theft on?
Whatever they're stealing, it doesn't matter. As long as they're stealing something, we can pretend there's some sort of plot involved.

 

Macho Men Being Macho

 

The 'Fast and Furious' movies are all about showing tough guys being tough guys. Watch as the dudes strut their musclebound selves around the screen, grunt, and take part in other such manly activities. If you're a man and you're not a macho man, get the heck out of the movie. You're not welcome in this world.
Look like Thor? Welcome! You'll fit right in. Make sure to cause some sort of property damage during your stay. Boys will be boys.

 

Explosions 

 

Don't forget to throw in some massive explosions to really get the point across that this is a dude-friendly movie! Anytime anything crashes into anything, make something blow up. Add some fire. Really sell it.
There isn't much you can count on in life, but you can always count on 'Fast and Furious' movies to blow stuff up.


 

 

Drugs 

 

One or two forms of illegal activity just won't do in 'The Fast and the Furious.' To spice things up, they often bring drugs to the table, too! After all, it gives them something else to steal.

 

 

Sex 

 

We've talked about the gorgeous, half-nude gals and musclebound hunks, but things don't really take off in 'Fast and Furious' filmography until those bodies get together and make some sweaty magic -- and sometimes even babies!

 

 

Bright Lights on the Pavement 

 

Lastly, while plenty of other movies have car chases, and car races, and car heists, what makes 'The Fast and the Furious' movies different is the under-vehicular lighting. That's how you know what franchise you're watching.
It's important to be bright, shiny, and fabulous while you're taking part in illegal activities. You know -- because it's super hard to track down a car with bright blue lights in its undercarriage. It might as well be invisible.