Nicolas Cage’s acting career has got to be one of the biggest enigmas in Hollywood. The man has obvious acting chops, which can be seen in movies such as Leaving Las Vegas (For which he won an Oscar), Adaptation, Face/Off, and Raising Arizona. Yet, for all the talent he appears to posses, Nic is still on good course to be one of the most mocked actors ever. I don’t know whether to describe him as incredibly silly or incredibly shameless, but the man seems to believe there is no such thing as a bad script (Then again, any script with a 10+ million dollar paycheck attached can’t be that bad, right?), as can be noted with the number of increasingly bad movie roles he has accepted in the last decade. That said, for all of the awfulness Cage has been a part of, most of it has managed to at least be thrown in the “Bad films that make us laugh” pile. In fact, Cage has steadily become more famous thanks to some of his absolute worst roles. So put on your bear suit, put the bunny back in the box, and grab some cake; Here are the 20 Nicolas Cage movies that are certifiably awful.
20. Guarding Tess
How Bad’s The Film?
Cage is tasked with protecting Shirley McClaine’s former First Lady,
but finds her utterly repellant. Sort of the way that we found this
supposed ‘mystery comedy’ repellant.
How Bad’s The Hair? FBI short. With shades. The shades we can live with.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? More vaguely likeable in an ‘I miss my Gran’ way. The idea’s alright, shame about the execution.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/#K5U08TvqmWkgKBQp.99
How Bad’s The Film? Cage is tasked with protecting Shirley McClaine’s former First Lady, but finds her utterly repellant. Sort of the way that we found this supposed ‘mystery comedy’ repellant. How Bad’s The Hair? FBI short. With shades. The shades we can live with. So-Bad-It’s-Good? More vaguely likeable in an ‘I miss my Gran’ way. The idea’s alright, shame about the execution.
19. Fire Birds
How Bad’s The Film? One of Cage’s worst. As a member of an elite flight corps, he appears to be either sleepwalking, or attempting to cram a character from an old Western in a ’90s action film. Excruciating. How Bad’s The Hair? Nowhere near as perfectly coiffed as Tommy Lee Jones’. Let down. So-Bad-It’s-Good? “Let’s just say it’s the best 77-minute Apache helicopter actioner starring Nicolas Cage I’ve ever seen,” says one Internet reviewer. Take that as you will.
18. Trapped In Paradise
How Bad’s The Film? ‘Trapped’ is fitting – that’s exactly how you’ll feel when watching this. Paradise? At almost two hours in length (completely unnecessary), we really think not. How Bad’s The Hair? Dad hair alert! Style-less and wispy, it’s what you’d expect your fashion-phobic father to sport. So-Bad-It’s-Good? This can’t even be classed as a comedy. Aren’t they supposed to illicit laughs?
17. The Boy In Blue
How Bad’s The Film? Cage plays Ned Hanlan, a 19th Century sculler… Who… successfully uses… the first ‘sliding seat’… Zzzzzzz… How Bad’s The Hair? On his head, or on his chest? Either way we’re in seriously hairy territory. So-Bad-It’s-Good? Our memory appears to have been wiped (or, alright, we fell asleep), so we couldn’t tell you. Cool title, though.
16. National Treasure: Book Of Secrets
How Bad’s The Film? It’s the film so bad they made it twice! Ridiculously similar to the first film, this haphazard sequel is as derivative as they come. Keep it away from young minds, they deserve better! How Bad’s The Hair? Sorry, Cage has hair in this one? We were too busy gagging at how bad everything else is to notice. So-Bad-It’s-Good? Indiana Jones is weeping somewhere
15. City Of Angels
How Bad’s The Film? A soppy, drippy, dreary mess that defecates all over the masterful German film it’s based on. “I wanted to create a subliminal essence where you’re not really sure why it’s different or other, but it is,” said Cage. Uh, what? How Bad’s The Hair? Cropped close, this is how it should be all the time. Not a strand out of place. So-Bad-It’s-Good? We’d go through a fair amount of adjectives before we got to ‘good’. An entire dictionary of ‘em.
14. Deadfall
How Bad’s The Film? Let’s look to Rotten Tomatoes again, who report that this film is 0% fresh. Yes, 0% fresh. Which means it’s essentially 100% rotten. Bad egg. How Bad’s The Hair? Frankly the best wig we’ve ever seen Cage wearing. They don’t even try to make it look real. The moustache wig’s pretty impressive, too. So-Bad-It’s-Good? No.
13. Zandalee
How Bad’s The Film? So bad that it completely baffles, even though it’s essentially a simple tale of a woman who embarks on an affair with a manipulative tit. How Bad’s The Hair? We’re all about the moustache here. So-Bad-It’s-Good? Don’t bother. Clearly the best movie beginning with ‘Zan’ is Zanadu. And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
12. National Treasure
How Bad’s The Film? More daft than anything. Cage attempts to become Indiana Jones as he hunts the globe in a distinctly Da Vini Code-style romp that smacks of trend surfing. It looks desperate. It sounds desperate. It is desperate. How Bad’s The Hair? Interchangeable with Count Dracula’s. And oddly fluffy. So-Bad-It’s-Good? Not even if you’re a kid.
11. Season Of The Witch
How Bad’s The Film? Not quite bad enough that you’ll wish you were watching The Wicker Man. But bad enough that you’ll wish you were watching Con Air. How Bad’s The Hair? Nic, Jesus wants his ‘do back. So-Bad-It’s-Good? Nearly, but mainly thanks to Ron Perlman. The man rules.
10. 8MM
How Bad’s The Film? It’s about Nic Cage watching snuff films. Wait, is this a documentary? How Bad’s The Hair? That dim projector light makes it difficult to work out, but we’re pretty sure it’s as atrocious as ever. So-Bad-It’s-Good? “Anything but a pretty picture” reckoned Film4. We’d agree with that.
9. Vampire’s Kiss
How Bad’s The Film? After roles as a punk and a fast food worker, Cage revealed his inner crazy with this quirky horror flick – and what sublime crazy it is. Yes, this is the film that he scoffed a cockroach for. You can see a love affair with the insane being born before your very eyes. How Bad’s The Hair? As crazy as the character himself. So-Bad-It’s-Good? We don’t know, but it does have cult followers who love vampire movies.
8. Gone In 60 Seconds
How Bad’s The Film? So bad that Variety condemned it as “perfectly dreadful in every respect”. That’s pretty dire, nuh? How Bad’s The Hair? Compared to Angelina Jolie’s bleached blonde dreadlocks, it’s a masterclass in making do with what God gave you. So-Bad-It’s-Good? The car chases are alright, nothing to write home about. We could do without the finger wag. Stupid finger wag.
7. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
How Bad’s The Film? You know that history thing? The thing that’s generally set down in books because various people have confirmed it to generally be the truth? Director John Madden doesn’t care about it. Which means you shouldn’t care about his film. How Bad’s The Hair? Tamed like a wild beast. Still nowhere near sexy. So-Bad-It’s-Good? Only with a big bottle of JD. Per person.
6. Bangkok Dangerous
How Bad’s The Film? It’s at 9% rotten on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 92 reviews. It’s fair to say that this tale of a hitman who falls in love is way past its sell by date. How Bad’s The Hair? Are they trying to make him look all Oriental on purpose? Or is it just us? So-Bad-It’s-Good? It’s not Hitman, which has to count for something. Still dire stuff, though.
5. Next
How Bad’s The Film? No excuses here for Nic, who also produced this trash. The script’s as hole-y as the Pope and equally as contrived. Bad. Bad to the bone. How Bad’s The Hair? Vaguely normal looking when the wind’s not blowing. Even Nic has a good hair day once in a while. So-Bad-It’s-Good? So bad it makes you angry, especially when you see the story’s accredited to Philip K. Dick. We bet he’s turning in his cryogenic chamber.
4. Ghost Rider
ow Bad’s The Film? As bad as whiffy, decade old stilton. Fitting, seeing as that’s what the dialogue is like as well. Histrionic to the extreme, Cage’s attempt to adapt the beloved comic leaves us severely stunk out. How Bad’s The Hair? On fire. Uh, literally. So-Bad-It’s-Good? Not quite, it just makes you wish somebody like Darren Aronofsky had taken it on. Lucky Wolverine 2.
3. Windtalkers
How Bad’s The Film? John Woo bad. So not hideously malformed in a Frankenstein sort of way, just a bit rough and ready in a Mickey Rourke sort of way. How Bad’s The Hair? Mostly hidden under an army helmet. Probably a good thing. So-Bad-It’s-Good? It’s basically a poor man’s Saving Private Ryan. With a crap poster. So no.
2. Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance
How Bad’s The Film? Cage goes no-holds-barred in this second round as Johnny Blaze, even playing the flame-on Rider himself (he didn’t in the first film). The result is a towering, terrifyingly unhinged performance in a movie that is, sadly, not worthy of him. How Bad’s The Hair? As bad as the first one. So-Bad-It’s-Good? So bad we don’t want to see a sequel AGAIN.
1. The Wicker Man
How Bad’s The Film? The kind of bad that makes you wish you’d been born in a dark, cold cave full of vipers with poisonous scorpion-sting tails and burning acid for saliva. Just so you didn’t have to endure this tosh. How Bad’s The Hair? Pretty respectable. Considering. So-Bad-It’s-Good? You’re kidding, right?
How Bad’s The Film?
It’s at 9% rotten on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 92 reviews. It’s fair to
say that this tale of a hitman who falls in love is way past its sell
by date.
How Bad’s The Hair? Are they trying to make him look all Oriental on purpose? Or is it just us?
So-Bad-It’s-Good? It’s not Hitman, which has to count for something. Still dire stuff, though.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/4/#1FLOca6idAoH2XtM.99
How Bad’s The Film?
A soppy, drippy, dreary mess that defecates all over the masterful
German film it’s based on. “I wanted to create a subliminal essence
where you’re not really sure why it’s different or other, but it is,”
said Cage. Uh, what?
How Bad’s The Hair? Cropped close, this is how it should be all the time. Not a strand out of place.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? We’d go through a fair amount of adjectives before we got to ‘good’. An entire dictionary of ‘em.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/2/#YGv5u0xeGOTl3ZBU.99
How Bad’s The Film?
It’s the film so bad they made it twice! Ridiculously similar to the
first film, this haphazard sequel is as derivative as they come. Keep it
away from young minds, they deserve better!
How Bad’s The Hair? Sorry, Cage has hair in this one? We were too busy gagging at how bad everything else is to notice.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? Indiana Jones is weeping somewhere.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/2/#YGv5u0xeGOTl3ZBU.99
How Bad’s The Film?
Cage is tasked with protecting Shirley McClaine’s former First Lady,
but finds her utterly repellant. Sort of the way that we found this
supposed ‘mystery comedy’ repellant.
How Bad’s The Hair? FBI short. With shades. The shades we can live with.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? More vaguely likeable in an ‘I miss my Gran’ way. The idea’s alright, shame about the execution.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/#K5U08TvqmWkgKBQp.99
How Bad’s The Film?
Cage is tasked with protecting Shirley McClaine’s former First Lady,
but finds her utterly repellant. Sort of the way that we found this
supposed ‘mystery comedy’ repellant.
How Bad’s The Hair? FBI short. With shades. The shades we can live with.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? More vaguely likeable in an ‘I miss my Gran’ way. The idea’s alright, shame about the execution.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/#K5U08TvqmWkgKBQp.99
Nicolas
Cage’s acting career has got to be one of the biggest enigmas in
Hollywood. The man has obvious acting chops, which can be seen in movies
such as Leaving Las Vegas (For which he won an Oscar), Adaptation,
Face/Off, and Raising Arizona. Yet, for all the talent he appears to
posses, Nic is still on good course to be one of the most mocked actors
ever.
I don’t know
whether to describe him as incredibly silly or incredibly shameless, but
the man seems to believe there is no such thing as a bad script (Then
again, any script with a 10+ million dollar paycheck attached can’t be
that bad, right?), as can be noted with the number of increasingly bad
movie roles he has accepted in the last decade. That said, for all of
the awfulness Cage has been a part of, most of it has managed to at
least be thrown in the “Bad films that make us laugh” pile. In fact,
Cage has steadily become more famous thanks to some of his absolute
worst roles. So put on your bear suit, put the bunny back in the box,
and grab some cake; Here are the 20 Nicolas Cage movies that are
certifiably awful.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/#K5U08TvqmWkgKBQp.99
16. National Treasure: Book Of Secrets
How Bad’s The Film?
It’s the film so bad they made it twice! Ridiculously similar to the
first film, this haphazard sequel is as derivative as they come. Keep it
away from young minds, they deserve better!
How Bad’s The Hair? Sorry, Cage has hair in this one? We were too busy gagging at how bad everything else is to notice.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? Indiana Jones is weeping somewhere.
15. City Of Angels
How Bad’s The Film?
A soppy, drippy, dreary mess that defecates all over the masterful
German film it’s based on. “I wanted to create a subliminal essence
where you’re not really sure why it’s different or other, but it is,”
said Cage. Uh, what?
How Bad’s The Hair? Cropped close, this is how it should be all the time. Not a strand out of place.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? We’d go through a fair amount of adjectives before we got to ‘good’. An entire dictionary of ‘em.
14. Deadfall
How Bad’s The Film?
Let’s look to Rotten Tomatoes again, who report that this film is 0%
fresh. Yes, 0% fresh. Which means it’s essentially 100% rotten. Bad egg.
How Bad’s The Hair?
Frankly the best wig we’ve ever seen Cage wearing. They don’t even try
to make it look real. The moustache wig’s pretty impressive, too.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? No.
13. Zandalee
How Bad’s The Film?
So bad that it completely baffles, even though it’s essentially a
simple tale of a woman who embarks on an affair with a manipulative tit.
How Bad’s The Hair? We’re all about the moustache here.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? Don’t bother. Clearly the best movie beginning with ‘Zan’ is Zanadu. And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/2/#jTYFWLyfQYBJgYTI.99ش
16. National Treasure: Book Of Secrets
How Bad’s The Film?
It’s the film so bad they made it twice! Ridiculously similar to the
first film, this haphazard sequel is as derivative as they come. Keep it
away from young minds, they deserve better!
How Bad’s The Hair? Sorry, Cage has hair in this one? We were too busy gagging at how bad everything else is to notice.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? Indiana Jones is weeping somewhere.
15. City Of Angels
How Bad’s The Film?
A soppy, drippy, dreary mess that defecates all over the masterful
German film it’s based on. “I wanted to create a subliminal essence
where you’re not really sure why it’s different or other, but it is,”
said Cage. Uh, what?
How Bad’s The Hair? Cropped close, this is how it should be all the time. Not a strand out of place.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? We’d go through a fair amount of adjectives before we got to ‘good’. An entire dictionary of ‘em.
14. Deadfall
How Bad’s The Film?
Let’s look to Rotten Tomatoes again, who report that this film is 0%
fresh. Yes, 0% fresh. Which means it’s essentially 100% rotten. Bad egg.
How Bad’s The Hair?
Frankly the best wig we’ve ever seen Cage wearing. They don’t even try
to make it look real. The moustache wig’s pretty impressive, too.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? No.
13. Zandalee
How Bad’s The Film?
So bad that it completely baffles, even though it’s essentially a
simple tale of a woman who embarks on an affair with a manipulative tit.
How Bad’s The Hair? We’re all about the moustache here.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? Don’t bother. Clearly the best movie beginning with ‘Zan’ is Zanadu. And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/2/#jTYFWLyfQYBJgYTI.99
Nicolas
Cage’s acting career has got to be one of the biggest enigmas in
Hollywood. The man has obvious acting chops, which can be seen in movies
such as Leaving Las Vegas (For which he won an Oscar), Adaptation,
Face/Off, and Raising Arizona. Yet, for all the talent he appears to
posses, Nic is still on good course to be one of the most mocked actors
ever.
I don’t know
whether to describe him as incredibly silly or incredibly shameless, but
the man seems to believe there is no such thing as a bad script (Then
again, any script with a 10+ million dollar paycheck attached can’t be
that bad, right?), as can be noted with the number of increasingly bad
movie roles he has accepted in the last decade. That said, for all of
the awfulness Cage has been a part of, most of it has managed to at
least be thrown in the “Bad films that make us laugh” pile. In fact,
Cage has steadily become more famous thanks to some of his absolute
worst roles. So put on your bear suit, put the bunny back in the box,
and grab some cake; Here are the 20 Nicolas Cage movies that are
certifiably awful.
20. Guarding Tess
How Bad’s The Film?
Cage is tasked with protecting Shirley McClaine’s former First Lady,
but finds her utterly repellant. Sort of the way that we found this
supposed ‘mystery comedy’ repellant.
How Bad’s The Hair? FBI short. With shades. The shades we can live with.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? More vaguely likeable in an ‘I miss my Gran’ way. The idea’s alright, shame about the execution.
19. Fire Birds
How Bad’s The Film?
One of Cage’s worst. As a member of an elite flight corps, he appears
to be either sleepwalking, or attempting to cram a character from an old
Western in a ’90s action film. Excruciating.
How Bad’s The Hair? Nowhere near as perfectly coiffed as Tommy Lee Jones’. Let down.
So-Bad-It’s-Good?
“Let’s just say it’s the best 77-minute Apache helicopter actioner
starring Nicolas Cage I’ve ever seen,” says one Internet reviewer. Take
that as you will.
18. Trapped In Paradise
How Bad’s The Film?
‘Trapped’ is fitting – that’s exactly how you’ll feel when watching
this. Paradise? At almost two hours in length (completely unnecessary),
we really think not.
How Bad’s The Hair? Dad hair alert! Style-less and wispy, it’s what you’d expect your fashion-phobic father to sport.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? This can’t even be classed as a comedy. Aren’t they supposed to illicit laughs?
17. The Boy In Blue
How Bad’s The Film? Cage plays Ned Hanlan, a 19th Century sculler… Who… successfully uses… the first ‘sliding seat’… Zzzzzzz…
How Bad’s The Hair? On his head, or on his chest? Either way we’re in seriously hairy territory.
So-Bad-It’s-Good? Our memory appears to have been wiped (or, alright, we fell asleep), so we couldn’t tell you. Cool title, though.
Read more at http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2013/20-terrible-movies-nicolas-cage-has-starred-in/#2XvIDY4G1sAxZB2R.99
In
any of the versions of Khan, there is one constant, Khan was
genetically bred as the height of human ability. In strength, endurance
and skill; Khan is simply superior. Wolverine, at his heart, is really
just a man who can take an enormous amount of punishment as well as
having those neat unbreakable claws made of metal attached to skeletal
bone.
As
he tells Mina in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie, they
could be at this all day. Unless Wolverine finds the picture, then they
could slash each other forever with the exact same results. Wolverine at
the turn of the twentieth century would be a young man. He would also
have the bone claws and an unchecked healing factor.
Some
people heard that he was dead. A few other people heard that he would
definitely be taller. The truth of the matter is that Snake Plissken is
everything that you would want a legendary tough guy to be. If John
Wayne existed in a dystopic future, thy name would be Snake Plissken. If
Wolverine existed in the same alternate future that Plissken does, they
would be very similar characters. They were both former soldiers who
were then screwed over by their own government as a result of their
special talents. Ultimately, they would probably team up against
whatever forces put them against each other, but the battle between the
two beforehand would be absolutely epic. It would probably end in a draw
as well as a bit of reasoning and perhaps a beer.
Honestly,
this match up would be a 1980s fan boy’s wet dream. After the
ninja-palloozas which were The Wolverine and G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the
dynamic of a fight between Wolverine and Snake Eyes would be a truly
great cinematic moment. Whatever the highest class of ‘Ninja’ is, then
Snake Eyes would definitely be it. Wolverine has trained in as well as
fought extensively in Japan. Snake Eyes is used to fighting with as well
as against sharp objects. Snake Eyes is also a superior fighter to
Wolverine, who would also be apt to lose control where Snake Eyes would
not. During one comic book adventure, it was remarked that nothing less
than a ‘tactical nuclear weapon’ would stop Snake Eyes from making it
through Cobra Island alone. Wolverine is not a tact nuke, but the throw
down is something that we would pay five times to see.
In
addition to an affection for sharp pointy things, Krueger would
honestly be a truly legendary Wolverine villain. In the dream world, the
ability to draw fear would depend on an ability to draw from the
subconscious. In many cases, this sub conscious is locked even to Logan
himself. The psychological torture of Logan would blindside him with
events in which he could not even determine whether they really
happened.
